remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
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I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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