pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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