did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize