Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
