real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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