He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Every concussion has its silver lining
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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