I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize