I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You took a bar mat shot.
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I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
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See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize