moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My liver just had a heart attack.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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