if you like me you must not know who I am
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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