I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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