I hate all girls vehemently.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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