do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize