So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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