Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize