i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
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it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
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Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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