I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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