take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize