Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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