Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
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say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"