just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
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I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.