Texts From Last Night

HenryFBP's Favorites Texts:

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  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm fucking your sister right now.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  You motherfucker

  (813): View more from Florida

  She's next.

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  (813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup
  Replies (152) Good night (65378) Bad night (3435)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill

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  (631): i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill http://tfl.nu/bzs5
  Replies (9) Good night (2959) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.

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  (410): We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES. http://tfl.nu/638m
  Replies (15) Good night (2718) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?

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  (973): I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today? http://tfl.nu/iuhq
  Replies (9) Good night (4319) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.

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  (850): It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons. http://tfl.nu/qh0d
  Replies (8) Good night (774) Bad night (2369) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here

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  (217): i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here http://tfl.nu/dmaq
  Replies (18) Good night (1534) Bad night (2246) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.

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  (970): I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting. http://tfl.nu/e4bo
  Replies (11) Good night (792) Bad night (2376) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.

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  (570): He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help. http://tfl.nu/6hrq
  Replies (10) Good night (1003) Bad night (3458) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!

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  (281): WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?! http://tfl.nu/4ghk
  Replies (20) Good night (2809) Bad night (4618) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

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  (352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb
  Replies (184) Good night (51568) Bad night (2261)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

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  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (248) Good night (66709) Bad night (2996) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (297) Good night (73372) Bad night (2464) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

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  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1628) Good night (168250) Bad night (42156) Order T-Shirt