Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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