cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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