I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize