Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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