after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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