you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
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Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
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I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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