I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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