So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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