i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i barfeds in our rink
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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