my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize