his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
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A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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