New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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