I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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