11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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