it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
