I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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