But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize