yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
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Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
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I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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