Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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