I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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