If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize