Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
where am i from again
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize