when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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