At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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