Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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