Already got asked if we're dating
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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