I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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