yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize