I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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