How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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