two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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